What to do with such or similar beliefs?
Do you know these beliefs?
“I can only become a mother if I work just as much as before.”
“I'm worth less if I work part-time.”
These thoughts were with me for a long time. I constantly had to prove myself in order to justify my worth. In my mind, I was only “good enough” if I delivered the same professional output as before the birth of my children, as if that was the only yardstick.
And then there was the part-time issue. An inner conflict that was wearing me down. For me, working part-time automatically meant being taken less seriously. I was afraid of no longer being perceived as a high performer and losing status - a thought that was deeply rooted.
And of course there was also the fact that I was no longer actually present at meetings after 3 p.m. or that my full-time colleagues were given more consideration in promotion rounds.
But at some point I started to question these beliefs. Where did they come from? Why did I define my value solely in terms of professional success and my full-time presence?
The truth is: my value as a person and my professional competence are not dependent on how many hours I work. They are also not tied to me having to prove that I can do “everything”. Working part-time does not mean less value, but more clarity about what is important to me. It means consciously shaping my life - with all my roles and needs.
Helpful questions to ask yourself:
Is this really true?
We often realize that our beliefs are based on outdated expectations that no longer fit our lives today.
Check whose conviction that is!
Do these thoughts really come from you or is there also a lot of social perspective in them? Are there obvious limitations coming from within the system? Does your working environment offer the flexibility you need to be able to perform as you wish? Part-time does not mean part-time-competent.
Create a new, powerful belief.
For example: “My value is not defined by my working hours, but by the quality and meaning of my work.” Or: “I am allowed to balance my professional and family needs and am just as valuable.”
Be compassionate with yourself.
It's okay to let go of old belief patterns. Change takes time. And sometimes it's less about getting rid of beliefs altogether and more about taking a critical look at them again and again. “Hey, there's a belief in me right now and it's guiding me” can help.
This change in thinking has given me freedom. The freedom to be proud of what I achieve and at the same time to live my life without constantly beating myself up. A step in the direction of more self-acceptance and loving treatment of myself.
Do I no longer have any beliefs that are holding me back? Of course I do! I think that's human. But every time I manage to take a good look at myself and become aware of what thoughts I produce, I have the opportunity to do something with them. This brings me clarity and can give me more freedom to act.
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