How do a fulfilling job and a conscious family life go together? Also, in such a way that you don't constantly feel guilty or have the feeling that someone (including yourself) is missing out?
I can still remember thinking about this for a long time before our son was born. Without finding any good answers.
The desire to start a family was so great for me that at some point I decided to put the "How does it all fit together? How can I do justice to everyone?" until later. I threw myself into the adventure of having a child and sometimes (painfully) learned how it all worked for me.
Here I have collected 6 strategies for you that have helped me:
Take time to understand your wishes and needs Always take time for yourself to feel what you need. The better you know your own desires and needs, the clearer you can make decisions about what is right for you. This could be a short walk or time alone in the bathroom. Think about what you can easily do. The easier it fits into your everyday life, the better you can establish these moments for yourself.
Talk to each other If you learn to understand your needs, you can talk to your partner, your friends and people in your professional environment with more clarity. And you will need a lot of that, again and again. You are all in this process of change together, which you shape by talking to each other. This includes formulating what you want and saying "no" whenever you need to.
In the end, it will be very much about which of the many tasks and roles in your life you give your attention to. Make this decision consciously and with clarity for yourself and those around you. This will protect you from doing too many things at once and still having the feeling that you are not really doing anything or anyone justice.
Get the best out of your time You have made a decision about what is right for you at the moment - then stick with it now and honor this time with your full attention. You will make quality time out of it. Even if it's small moments, lively family dinners or you're in the middle of a challenging day at work. Things don't always flow easily. If you keep trying to consciously decide which role or which task you are currently in, you can learn to accept what is part of the situation.
Getting the best out of my time doesn't mean that everything is always going well, but that I was really there. It means that I experience the moment - with attention and dedication.
Let others help you Use all the help you need and can get - from friends, family or your professional network. Many different things can take the pressure off you, especially when your children are still very young. These can be various forms of childcare, household and everyday help, sharing experiences with other women or coaching offers at work. When it comes to work-life balance, you have a partner at your side in your employer. Think together about what support the company can provide to help you. You have a common goal - you pursuing your career successfully.
Take (small) time-outs I know that sounds very difficult with (small) children, and yet I think this point is important. The trick will be to think about which time-outs fit well and realistically into your everyday life. If your child is still very small, there may not be time for a whole wellness vacation. And there are certainly things you can do for yourself. Some time to read, a walk alone, a meeting with friends. Above all, make sure you exercise regularly and get enough sleep. You simply need that. Perhaps you can take turns with your partner in taking care of the children at night so that you can both sleep at night without interruptions.
What is the best possible smallest step you can take towards your time-out? And you implement it! If that works, think about what else is possible.
Assume that things will turn out differently than you think This will happen again and again. You will make plans, formulate needs, be clear, say "no", say "yes" to other things. And then things may still not turn out the way you want them to. An important work appointment in the calendar and your child is ill, the movie night you've been longing for, and you work late because something important has come up.
Don't doubt everything you have done before. Or your decisions. That's just life. It's turbulent. These things happen, especially with children. Balancing family and work is not always easy. There are a lot of tasks that all seem to run in parallel.
Just assume that a certain amount of chaos is part of it. And it is precisely in the master class of life that you develop the skills to stop again and again, become aware of what you need and make decisions.
Conclusion:
Reconciling family and career is challenging. We need to realize that. It's a task that you as a mother cannot tackle alone. Keep talking about what is important to you, share your experiences and get all the help you need.
But above all - be patient with yourself. Let go of any perfectionism and make it your goal to live your life in the little moments. Enjoy everything that is there right now. Be ambitious at work and loving with your children. Stay important to yourself and enjoy living together with your family. All of this can go hand in hand. It's all part of it. Realize that you live a full life and sometimes things must wait. If you learn to make conscious decisions about your time, your roles and your tasks, you will take the wind out of your guilt sails.
Comments